Self-Love Baby, Self-Love!

My name is Sophie Ellis and I was born in Melbourne, but I currently live in the wild, dirty, bohemian Berlin. I am the founder of Shesnogood, an online magazine dedicated to female empowerment. This space was created with the sole purpose of encouraging everyone, but especially women, to be fearless in their journey here on Earth. Exploring art, fashion, feminism and adventures of the every woman* without ever taking ourselves too seriously. Nice to meet you.

What does Shesnogood mean?

Shesnogood is a mantra that aims to highlight that good isn’t the end game. It’s the idea that the act of defining yourself is, in turn, the act of placing limitations- and nobody needs that, my furry peach.

This name speaks to that feeling of being in absolute raptures over something that inspires you for whatever reason, while at the same time having the tingling fear of being the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time.

When I started this website I wanted to communicate and celebrate with all that get that Shesnogood feeling. To motivate them to run on wildly into the fray. To create a place where us gals can fly into the wind, limitless. Safe to fly and safe to fall.

What a bloody rollercoaster this little thing life is for each and every one of us. It absolutely blows my mind how little we know about where we are going and what we should do in order to fill up the hours that lead to the months, years. We are all out here winging it like the best of them, and yet so many of us hate to admit that. Let’s all be real here- we’re not sure and we're definitely not certain. But we have a feeling. We have that tiny little inkling that is nudging at us ever so lightly.

So much of what we need to be doing in life is based on following that feeling. What’s difficult is that in order to do so, we need to ignore whatever crap we learnt along the way that makes us feel that we can’t reach up to our very tippy toes and grab. I am now giving you permission to ignore that noise- shove your fingers in your ears, slam your eyes shut and shout all the profanity into the Universe. You can have it and all you need to do is to move forward.

We all need nudges-shoves in the right direction. Clues, hints or signs that smack us right in the behind, letting us know how much power we have over the lives we are living. For those of you who are searching for one of those signs/smacks/cannon ball-sized nudges, let me give you a few that helped me.

In no particular order, 10 pieces of lovingly, carelessly collected advice:

1. Leap before you have time to change your mind. If there is something you want to do and you are faced with the opportunity to make it happen, even in the tiniest of ways, jump in. Don’t give yourself the time to over-analyse and let the fear of failure take over- LEAP!

2. Tidy your bloody room. Put things away, throw the dust out the window and change those sheets. Clean room, clean mind and clean ability to get stuff done.

3. Say sorry when you need to. Tune in and accept when you have been a complete asshole. Make peace with the fact that you make mistakes and learn to live inside the uncomfortable moment of having to look the people you love in the eye and straight up admit it. Saying sorry is food for the soul.

4. Get yourself over the honeymoon period of project making. Starting on a new path is super exciting at the beginning but we always, always, reach the slump. The time where that thing is not so fun anymore and we have reached the hard part where we are silently willing ourselves out of the temptation to throw the mother of all fits. Work through it. Keep going. The trick to becoming that highly skilled person you dream of is getting up and working mid-slump. It isn't pretty, it isn't sexy and it sure isn't set in Hawaii. Sludge, slump and slide on through this time. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and sometimes there is also cake.

5. Be a learner. If you feel ignorant about a topic, pick up a book and read about it. Show that you wanna know things, be curious and let go of the idea of being the person with the answers. Be the person with the questions.

6. Your dreams are yours and yours only. The bad news is not one person on this Earth will be as sad as you will be if you don't give it a shot- the good news is the ball is and will always be, in your court. Anytime, anywhere.

7. Call your friends out on their bullshit- but be kind. We all screw up, but sometimes we are not so aware of it. Each and every one of us needs a ride or die friend that tells us when to pull our heads in- with love. And cake.

8. Learn about personal finance. Pick up a few cheesy self-help books from the library and get budgeting for those emergency, holiday, splurge and retirement funds. Start yesterday.

9. Find healthy, non-destructive ways to deal with intense negative feelings. Meditate, go for long walks, call your Mum, punch a bag until it deflates and flies out the window. Be kind to yourself and recognise when you need to take these measures.

10. Remember it is never too late to do the thing. You are not too old, you did not miss the boat or the chance, the train or any other symbolic vehicle. If what you are yearning to do exists in this world it is made for you to take it up and live a life with it. Make it happen, do little bits or big bits, but make sure you let yourself do the thing.

Credit and Link for Sophie listed below:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesnogood_/

Website: https://www.shesnogood.com